3 Things NOT to Do When Spicy Butt Strikes
Uh-oh… Did you add extra jalapenos to those nachos (again) last night? Really kick up the Sriracha on your dinner? Foolishly order the hottest curry on the menu to impress your date? Dare to take on the “Suicide Six Wings” challenge? Whatever spicy food sin you committed, you’re paying for it now. So here you are, trapped in the bathroom with a terrible case of fiery poops and spicy butt. HELP!
You’ve been here before and you swore up and down you’d never let things get this bad again. But you did. You just couldn’t say no to that hot sauce! Now, it’s basically a blazing Armageddon back there. If you’re desperate to end the butt burn, don’t make these foolish mistakes that will only exacerbate your pain:
- Use cheap toilet paper. Let’s be honest: when things are burning back there, the last thing you need is to use a cheap toilet paper that chafes your skin and makes the situation worse. Whether you’re trapped on the toilet with a serious cause of intestinal distress or hemorrhoids, you’ll want soothing supplies nearby. Stocking your bathroom proactively with the right supplies can help prevent future discomfort. One thing NOT to put on your shopping list: cheap toilet paper!
- Wiping too aggressively. Yes, being “overly clean” could actually make your problems worse! Even with the best toilet paper, wiping too harshly could irritate a sensitive area that’s already burning from your spicy food sins. Instead of wiping, try gently patting yourself if you must use toilet paper. To make the toilet paper even gentler on your bum, add a dab of hygienic cleansing lotion. You’ll get the burning hot bottom relief you need from fiery poops without the excess chafing. Flushable wipes and wet wipes can help, too.
- Eating spicy food again too soon. Just like recovering from a hangover, the cure to recovering from a hot poop is time. Things need to run their course no matter how painful it is for you to endure the fiery onslaught. Don’t make things worse and up the pain factor with more spicy foods. (Yes, that means you need to ‘just say no’ to the wings or curry leftover currently tempting you in the fridge – it’s not worth it!). If you need to eat something, opt for yogurt. Yogurt restores helpful bacterial cultures to the colon. And whatever you do, avoiding eating foods with capsaicin. Capsaicin is the active ingredient in spicy foods (like chili peppers) that makes them taste hot. It’s the reason why a chili at room temperature will still cause a burning sensation on our tongue, cause us to sweat and make us crave cold water.
How to End the Burn: Soothing Cream to Stop the Pain
Don’t make your butt burn worse with excessive chafing from toilet paper! Soothe the burn and end the pain once and for all with a soothing hygienic cleansing lotion like Soothe ‘N Wipe (www.soothenwipe.com). Stop the madness before it gets worse!